Issue 1 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham www.caneshum.co.uk October 2003
KEYNSHAM NEWS IN BRIEF - OCTOBER 2003
LET THE BALLOON TAKE THE STRAIN
'Where's the buffet car?' BRITISH RAIL have announced details of their new Bristol to Bath balloon shuttle, which will replace the exisiting rail link. The service will run four times daily, with reduced flights at weekends.

EAT WELL...
THERE WAS a pleasant surprise for the owner of Keynsham's transport cafe this week as the popular eatery was included in Egon Ronay's new 'Guide To Good Breakfast', published next month by Fictitious Books.

HARDEST PUB TOP 10
THE WINGROVE hold on to top spot this month, but watch out for The Talbot after a 4-place jump to number 3 following Friday night's home win against the New Inn.

[POS] Pub - Points
[1] Wingrove - 7.6
[2] Charlton - 6.4
[3] Talbot - 6.1
[4] Trout Tavern - 5.7
[5] Pioneer - 5.2
[6] New Inn - 3.9
[7] Crown - 2.1
[8] Bar 19 - 1.8
[9] Ship - 1.4
[10] Lock Keeper 0.2

CRIME CAN'T BE PAYING
THE NUMBER of reported crimes in Keynsham has fallen by 50% in the last quarter according to a recent police report. The document goes on to detail the reasons why the local station has been forced to close half-days for the last three months.

ROAD CLOSURE
DUE TO essential maintenance, Charlton Road will be closed to all traffic between Whichurch and the High Street from October 12th to December 31st.

BEARDO SWITCHES IT
'The bells....' etc THIS YEAR'S High Street Christmas illumination will be officially turned on by former England forward Peter Beardsley as part of the town's world-famous Victorian Evening in November.

SMELLS LIKE FUN
A FAMILY fun day is being held next weekend at Keynsham sewage works, Broadmead Lane. Events include a Survivor-style Log Stand endurance test and yellow water rafting. All are welcome to attend. Refreshments and Tetanus jabs will be available on the day. Entrance is 3 at the gate or 4 in advance.

THE WEAKEST SINK
AN UNDERWATER pub quiz is being held at the towns' leisure centre following the success of a similar event held at the Lock Keeper Pub in February.

ROMAN ROAD TO RUIN
Russell Crowe not pictured KEYNSHAM'S ROMAN ruins are set to star in the sequel to the Oscar-winning film 'Gladiator', due to be shot in the town next year.

SPORTING BRIEFS
OUR SPORTS correspondent Rocky Rhodes is currently 'on holiday' in the Leyhill region. Full sports coverage will probably return next month.

LOST DOG
AN APPEAL has gone out to local residents asking for more pets to be mislaid following a recent local news shortage.

MOBILE TELEPHONE
A TELEPHONE box has been stolen from the Wellsway, Keynsham, sometime during the small hours of 2003. A similar crime was reported in Park Road. All remaining boxes are currently under surveillance.

PLANNING APPLICATIONS
63 PARK ROAD: Permission for change of use from residential dwelling to licensed adult entertainment club. Status: GRANTED.

46D FARLEIGH ROAD: Request for permit to install a roof top all-weather artifical football pitch and changing facilities. Status: GRANTED.

178 TEMPLE STREET: Permission sought for alteration of window box location. Status: REFUSED.

SHOW'S OVER FOLKS
KEYNSHAM'S CHARLTON cinema will close it's doors for the last time this week after plans were approved to demolish the not-quite-listed building to make way for a new cinema.

CLASSIFIED ADS
FOR SALE, 1970's clock tower. Four clocks plus plinth and electrical fittings. Needs some minor restoration. 120 ono. Call Darren 00788 754356. Buyer collects.

WANTED, drugs. All types considered. Cash waiting. Contact 'Seamus' c/o Keynsham Park.

FREE TO good homes. Mint copies of the Bristol Observer. See local paper boy for details.

---- STOP PRESS ----
NOTHING MUCH in the way of 'hold the front page' last-minute news yet, but if the world ends, this is where you'll read it.

KEYNSHAM WEB CAM
See our up-to-the-second webcam which is currently situated on the Town Hall in the centre of town. VIEW IT

THE MONTHLY MOAN
Who, what or where is in the firing line this month? Is it Henry, the mild-mannered janitor? Could be... MORE

AL-SAHAF IN KEYNSHAM
Continuing (well, actually, commencing) our regular cartoon featuring outpourings from none other than the former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf as he travels the lands of Keynsham. MORE

WEATHER FORECAST
Check out the lastest Wet Office advance weather forecast for the Keynsham region.
VIEW WEATHER

SPLEEN VENTING
"I 'ave just read that Keynsham Town Plan thing what was put through the door just the other day. They reckons it's 'Your vision for our town' but if you ask me it's 'Our vision for your town'..." Just a sample quote from our postbag this month.
READ MORE LETTERS

MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
Launching our exclusive range of Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-shirts. Don't be seen not dead in one. BUY STUFF