Issue 1 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham www.caneshum.co.uk October 2003
CAR PARK TO C.R.A.P PARK

Farewell parking, hello crusties...
Farewell parking, hello crusties...
A recent Bath & North East Somerset Council press release has revealed that the 'Pay & Display' parking in Keynsham has been a huge success, generating enough revenue to continue with the next phase of the 'Car, Recreation and Amenities Plan'.

Part two of the plan, which was discovered by Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum in the very-small-print of the minutes from a recent council meeting held in a back room of The Brown & White Dog public house, is to convert the Ashton Way car park into a state-of-the-art traveller camp. The facility is set to include housing for over three hundred travellers along with their rusty vehicles, barking dogs and nappy clad toddlers. The amenity will also include a half size covered outdoor swimming pool, stables, cable TV access and a comprehensive sanitation area.

When approached by Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum regarding the story, Mr Samuel Arsey of Bath & North East Somerset Council (BANES), interim manager of the scheme, said: "First of all I would like to say a big thank you to the wonderful people of Keynsham for their support with regards to the parking charges. With the revenue which has been raised the second phase of C.R.A.P can now commence. We have taken a different view to most other towns and cities, where traveller sites are mostly placed out of town. We are situating them close to all the local amenities and high street shops to increase their standard of living, and to make the shoplifting a lot more convenient for them. The contributions from the public via the pay and display scheme have gone above and beyond our expectations, which means we at BANES can have great Christmas piss up too."

A Pay & Display ticket (Click to enlarge)
A Pay & Display ticket
(Click to enlarge)
But all is not lost! There will still be 30 parking spaces available for public use, which will continue to be "pay and display". The money raised from these 30 spaces will go to the travellers to fund their holidays in Ibiza every year. "It's all about giving back to the community," continued Mr Arsey: "We feel these people are the most needy benefactors. Keynsham is a place that has so much to offer them."

The conversion of the Ashton Way area is due to start in the spring of 2004, with the travellers set to be moved onto the site in the September of the same year, in readiness for the coming winter. The C.R.A.P plan has fired much interest from so-called 'New Age' families from all over the country. Due to the fact that the camp is likely be heavily over-subscribed, BANES will be accepting applications to live on site from 24th December 2003. Forms will be available from BANES C.R.A.P department at the Town Hall.

Mr Arsey (BANES) also stated that the Ashton Way plan was "the first of many schemes that would fall under the Car, Recreation & Amenities Plan." Yes, we can believe that's true! Charlton Bottom


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