Issue 4 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham www.caneshum.co.uk January 2004
The Monthly Moan - with Anna Cacia-Court
Keynsham's clock tower - design award not pictured

HAPPY 2004 dears, another year, another moan. Thank God that the former Pagan festival of Christmas is over for another year. I've lost count of the number of people I've overheard saying 'We're going away next Christmas'. If all of these empty promises are fulfilled, those that stay at home next year will have the place to themselves. Hooray! Anyway, let the moaning begin...

Whilst enjoying a delightful blend of fair trade African coffee at a friend's house near the train station the other morning, she told me of an incident that happened a few days previous. She primed the MPV for the morning school run, and as she pulled away, another car parked right outside her house in her parking space. It later transpired that the owner of this vehicle was parking their car there for the day whilst they got the train to work. This all-day auto-abandonment was most inconveinient when it came to ferrying the twins and the shopping between car and house.

I noticed on my way home that most of the cars parked up and down her road were all left there because the train station car park was full. It was ironic that virtually every car had a steering lock on - if it's so unsafe to leave your car in Keynsham, why don't you get a bus into town? Or, better still, why not use the actual car park where you'll be 'protected' by the expensive security cameras.

'Bloody cheapskates' Use The Car Park
It's not just the train station area either. Take a drive down Sherwood Road on any weekday and you'll have a job to navigate the length of the road, such is the volume of council workers' cars littering the street. Any ambulance called to the old folks homes would have to park in Saltford! See also Handel Road and areas of Park Road. What's wrong with the bus?

Did you know that if you live on Rock Road, you have to pay 25 per year for the luxury of parking outside your home? With over 50 houses there, that's a lot of money. A Lib-Dem candidate advised me that it would cost 25 to cover the paperwork involved. The bottom line is this - make parking in Keynsham free again. We need to stop all the tight-fisted gits who are too stingy to pay 1 for all day parking leaving their cars in residential areas.

So there you have it, another month, another moan. Don't forget sweeties, you can contact me with your thoughts and moans. Take care, see you next month. Anna Cacia-Court

ANNA'S MINI MOAN
WHAT THE hell is going on with the drivers using Bath Hill mini-roundabout, the one near Shoe Fayre? When turning right into the High Street, why do people have to wait on the roundabout, preventing Bath-bound traffic from exiting Temple Street. Maybe it's something to do with the gradient of the hill causing blood to leave the brain in favour of the buttocks. We are going to have to levy a stupid tax if these idiots persist in doing this. For Pete's sake, if you're in that much of a rush, use the bloody by-pass. Clot heads. ACC
ALBERT'S MINI MOAN
ISN'T IT about time that a 'common sense bomb' was dropped on the High Street? Specifically it could target the plonkers who insist on abusing their Registered Disabled rights by double parking in the most ridiculous places. We have a town full of disabled parking bays, many of which haven't seen action since the Falklands War was front page news, yet these drivers still think that parking in the middle of the traffic-calming 'scheme' is a better idea. Use your loaf. Use your bays. The High Street is congested enough. Thank-you. AM
CHARLTON'S MINI MOAN
LAST YEAR we saw the "resurfacing" of Charlton Road from just outside Keynsham boundaries to the junction with Woollard Lane. It took many weeks to complete and caused some traffic chaos at times. Well here we are, just a few months since the job was "finished" and the road looks like it has never been touched. The new grit has worn away and gravel is strewn all over the place. How much did this poor job cost? I think the council should be contacting the resurfacing contractors to do the job again, properly this time. CB


• Read More Of Anna Cacia-Court's Monthly Moaning

MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
They're selling like hot cakes in Keynsham and Bath - Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-shirts are on sale now! FULL DETAILS

AL-SAHAF IN KEYNSHAM
His ex-boss has been nicked by the Yanks, and now the former Iraqi Dis-Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf seems to be working for the council. Shocker! GO TO MO!

DID YOU KNOW?
Keynsham has it's very own Backyard Wrestling Crew? Thought not. Check out these zany Jackass-meets-WWF people at EXTREME POSSE WRESTLING

NEWS FROM ABROAD
Did you know that other small towns exist way beyond the Kelston Mountains? It's true! If you don't believe us, check out the BUMPKIN CREW, from a land called 'Froomeshire'.

KEYNSHAM WEB CAM 4
The Cane Shum web cam is stuck in traffic at the Hicks Gate roundabout. VIEW IT

YOUR LETTERS
"After all, don't charity shops enjoy tax privileges such as no VAT, no business rates, no staff wages, no tax on profits? Why charge prices that make antique shops look cheap?" READ LETTERS

WEATHER FORECAST
Find out what the elements have in store for Keynsham in January. VIEW WEATHER

KEYNSHAM IS ACE!
We love Keynsham! If you need reminding, CLICK HERE