Issue 5 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham www.caneshum.co.uk March 2004
SOME WORDS ABOUT COULD 'DIS BE CANE SHUM

'Come to Keynsham, please. Oh go on....'

Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum is published once in a while from an ex-Cold War bunker nestled in the Mendip region. It's official function is to supply the humour addicts of Keynsham (and the World in general) with a much-needed fix. Occasional lapses into political comment and whingeing are possible. Side effects may include drowsiness, laughter, outrage and anxiety. We are not responsible for anything we write. It's all the work of elves. Finally, if you want to know where we pinched the idea from, we suggest you check out That Be Bristle. That will be all. Now get on with some work you lazy buggers!


ALBERT MILLS
Albert Mills FORMER GARDENING correspondent for the now-defunct 'Somerset Oracle', Albert is one of the two founding editors of this fabled tome. His claim to fame is that he was once in the audience at the filming of BBC's 'Nationwide' program, an accolade which alone was enough to land him the job at Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum. He is the author of one book, 'Overnight Failure', and is separated from wife Estelle, with no accountable children. MORE

CHARLTON BOTTOM
Charlton Bottom CHARLTON BOTTOM once famously claimed, improbably, to have been present when the Romans were last in the town, and is the website's other founding editor. A former member of 70's glam rock band The Mutz Nutz, Charlton began his journalistic career as a stringer for the lowly 'Ubley Gazette', during which time he covered the story of the infamous Cider Drought of 1985. He has four children and is blissfully married to his beloved wife of 15 years, Rosy.

ANNA CACIA-COURT
Anna Cacia-Court THE DELIGHTFUL Anna was the first writer to be recruited to the team after she knocked on Charlton's door late one night to ask for assistance with her broken down VW Beetle. The former Arts & Entertainment correspondent for London's 'Capital Punishment' magazine, Ms Cacia-Court has been resident in the town for over a decade. Much-travelled, Anna is mother to six children and is happily married to Arthur, a commercial airline pilot.

THE MONTHLY MOAN
Anna Cacia-Court gets angry with the aged townsfolk as she forgets to repsect her elders once again. READ MORE

AL-SAHAF IN KEYNSHAM
The former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf is still working for the local council. This month he defends his work mates' parking habits YO! GO TO MO!

MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
On sale now in Keynsham stores - Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-shirts are everywhere! FULL T-SHIRT DETAILS

WEATHER FORECAST
Will Keynsham town see any sunshine in March? Will it feck! VIEW THE WEATHER

KEYNSHAM IS ACE!
We love Keynsham! If you need reminding, CLICK HERE