Issue 5 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham www.caneshum.co.uk March 2004
CANE SHUM, A BETTER PLACE TO LIVE, WORK & VISIT

Caution: Crap shops ahead "CAN IT really be almost March already? It seems like only yesterday that we took the Xmas trimmings down. Oh, it was. Anyhow, you're probably asking 'Where was the February edition?' - to which we reply 'It was a leap year' and we'll leave it at that. The recent Lazy Virus wiped out the office staff for over 2 weeks, but February's loss is March's gain. So welcome, then, to issue 5."

With so much happening in Keynsham these days it's hard to know where to begin. For starters we've had another letter from the Wellsway Liberation Front claiming responsibility for 'burning down' the Town Hall. Then there's the state of Charlton Road, a subject which seems set to run and run. On top of all that, this hallowed town of ours looks set to enter the Space Race™. Yes folks, it's all going down in the town.

So spread a few official-looking papers on your desk in an attempt to make it look like you're actually doing some work should the boss come back early, grab a Double Decker and a mug of Yorkshire Tea and while away your afternoon at work with us. Isn't that what they pay you for?!


CANE SHUM NEWS HEADLINES...
'There are no workers' cars parked in the residential back streets of Keynsham. None.'
ALSO IN THIS MONTH'S EDITION...
MUHAMMED SAEED AL-SAHAF denies all knowledge of backstreet parking, ANNA CACIA-COURT forgets to respect her elders, another Keynsham WEBCAM, more regular readers' LETTERS, a soupcon of BRIEF NEWS, the March WEATHER forecast and much MORE.


MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
On sale now in Keynsham stores - Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-shirts are everywhere! FULL T-SHIRT DETAILS

THE MONTHLY MOAN
Anna Cacia-Court gets angry with the aged townsfolk as she forgets to repsect her elders once again. READ MORE

AL-SAHAF IN KEYNSHAM
The former Iraqi Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf is still working for the local council. This month he defends his work mates' parking habits YO! GO TO MO!

KEYNSHAM WEB CAM 5
The Cane Shum web cam seems to be attempting an escape to Saltford. VIEW IT

WEATHER FORECAST
Will Keynsham town see any sunshine in March? Will it feck! VIEW THE WEATHER

KEYNSHAM IS ACE!
We love Keynsham! If you need reminding, CLICK HERE


The World according to Albert Mills - Proudly clogging up the arteries of the Internet with satirical nonsense since 2003