You read before you a woman who is sick to the back teeth and gold caps with the ailing population of this dear village. My mother, a pensioner with all faculties and common sense, always told me to respect my elders, and quite right too, but surely only if the rude, bloody-minded old codgers ruddy well deserve it!
Trying to get from A to B in this beloved town of ours is becoming unbearable. These senior citizens make no excuse for their impoliteness, many have selected hearing and speech, that is until they reach the check outs where they will chat for hours about the boils on their husbands bottoms, chaffing of knicker elastics and the price of tinned salmon and sherry.
Age! Know the score
And if that isnít enough to ruin your mood for a mid week coffee morning at the nursery the measly misers arenít shy when it comes to helping themselves to a few items off the shelf, pleading ignorance or stupidity, when caught red handed. You know who you are you scandalous superannuated senile old fogies.
Well enough is enough and its time to act now. I propose a High Street for the elderly, located in the Hawthorns; 10 Charity shops, a bakers, a small supermarket and a post office. The same way the Chandag have managed to contain their ageing community all these years.