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correspondent for the now-defunct 'Somerset Oracle', Editor Albert is one of the founding members of this fabled tome. His claim to fame is that he was once in the audience at the filming of BBC's 'Nationwide' program, an accolade which alone was enough to land him the job at Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum
. He is the author of one book, 'Overnight Failure', and is separated from wife Estelle, with no accountable children. MORE
once famously claimed, improbably, to have been present when the Romans were last in the town, and is the website's other founding member. A former member of 70's glam rock band The Mutz Nutz, Charlton began his journalistic career as a stringer for the lowly 'Ubley Gazette', during which time he covered the story of the infamous Cider Drought of 1985. He has four children and is blissfully married to his beloved wife of 15 years, Rosy.
Anna was the first writer to be recruited to the team after she knocked on Charlton's door late one night to ask for assistance with her broken down VW Beetle. The former Arts & Entertainment correspondent for London's 'Capital Punishment' magazine, Ms Cacia-Court has been resident in the town for over a decade. Much-travelled, Anna is mother to six children and is happily married to Arthur, a commercial airline pilot.
was the first victim of our recruitment drive in spring 2004, having previously worked for a rival publication. He was snared with an offer of Double Deckers for life, a space in the BANES car park, free copies of the Keynsham & Saltford Observer (20p where sold) and a pile of old jazz mags. Initially reluctant, Eli finally relented following three sessions of shock therapy and an ear-bashing from Anna. He is married with children.
is known about Tarquin Llewellyn-Bowen, except that he is the wine-loving, MPV-driving, plummy-voiced, theatre-going, classical music-loving, champagne-swilling, public-schooled son of a British diplomat. He also happens to be the leader of radical 'East Side' activist group the Wellsway Liberation Front, who have big designs on autonomy for the Chandag area of Keynsham. He is listed here as his press releases make up a large portion of our news.
Iraqi Information Minister fled his homeland at the end of 'Gulf War 2: Like Father, Like Son', taking a job as a public relations clerk at Cadbury's, a position that lasted precisely three weeks. He has since found refuge in the shady corridors of BANES' Riverside building, where he works as the Dis-Information Minister on a part-time basis. Known to his mates as 'Mo', Muhammed is married with a few kids. He is, allegedly, 87 years old.
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NEW! CITIZEN CANE
In his debut report as Citizen Cane, Eli McChurch tackles the subject of Keynsham's hygenically-challenged 'leisure' facilities.
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THE MONTHLY MOAN
Anna Cacia-Court kicks Council butt and unveils some shocking exclusive news about St John's car park.
KEYNSHAM WEB CAM 7
The Cane Shum web cam is at the railway station as part of the Search for Intelligent Rail Travel (SIRT).
The weather forecast for May, with our in-house, atmosphere-questioning ether beaver Albert Mills. VIEW THE WEATHER
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The following scoundrels and vagabonds were responsible for the nonsense found in issue 7: Albert Mills, Charlton Bottom, Anna Cacia-Court, Eli McChurch, Tarquin Llewellyn-Bowen, Cuthbert Cuthbertson.