Issue 8 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham www.caneshum.co.uk June 2004
Bloke About Town - with William Bloke

'You'll regret it when you're old, mind'
'You'll regret it when you're old, mind'  
William Bloke - click for biography WILLIAM BLOKE is a Keynsham legend and a bloody nice bloke he is too. Quite literally, he's Bloke About Town. Beware! He swears a lot, pulls no punches and is always up for a scrap with anyone it seems. Freshly-recruited to the Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum team, he's here to share his often-controversial views and opinions with us all. This month: 'Tattoos'.

Does this rank as one of the most unusual tattoos you've ever seen? Do you know anyone else in the world with the word 'Keynsham' tattooed on their arm - let alone the town's crest? There must be a few, but not very many...

I got this done in Temple Street by Mr Skuse himself. I thought, well, support local businesses and stick two fingers up at the civic society (Iris 'bloody' Whatshername) and whoever else who thinks that he's downgrading the quality of the town. OUR town!! Why doesn't she f*ck off and faint? It's gonna be MY town a lot longer than hers - her 'glass of life' is half empty! She goes on and on about the history of the town, how important it is to preserve our past etc... Where does she live? Oh yeah, in a building complex built on top of a long demolished part of our history - it's not called 'Old Vicarage Green' for nothing you know. Mr Skuse has brought his tattoo shop to our town and with it he brings customers from outside the locale - you don't think the plethora of charity shops and estate agents is gonna attract them in do you? Duh!!

Old Vicarge Green: Old vicarge not pictured  Old Vicarge Green
(Old vicarge not pictured)
Am I a Bristolian? Am I a Bathonian? Am I f*ck - I'm a Keynshamite!! I went to nursery and was educated at Primary and Comprehensive schools in this town. I've served as a Town Councillor, helped run the local Labour Party, been a governor of both Kelston Rd and Wellsway schools, drunk, fought and shagged in and around most of the local boozers, worked in local pubs and shops and spent my wages in the High Street.

I've lived in this town all my life, always have and always will. Arrangements have been made that if and when I die I'm having my ashes scattered on the centre circle of Keynsham Town FC. How dare anybody try to force their local 'opinions' upon me or other residents of OUR town when they don't even represent the majority of people who live here? Spokespersons are elected voices - not egocentric people who continue to blow their own trumpet!!!

Anyway, back to the tattoo. At least he spelt 'Keynsham' correctly.
William Bloke   william.bloke@caneshum.co.uk


• Citizen Cane    • Monthly Moan    • The Bottom Line    • The Miller's Tale   

THE MILLER'S TALE
NEW! Albert Mills gets his own column, in which he's throwing his weight behind the plans for the old cinema, among other things. READ ALBERT

MAILING LIST
Get yourself notified whenever we publish - join our no-spam, no-hassle MAILING LIST.

CITIZEN CANE
Having already taken Keynsham's leisure facilities to task, Eli McChurch turns his attention to Seasonally Affective Disorder. READ IT

MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
On sale now at 'Only Fools & Horses' - our exclusive Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-SHIRTS!

AL-SAHAF IN KEYNSHAM
The BANES Dis-Information Minister Muhammed Saeed al-Sahaf returns with bizarre claims that Keynsham's traffic is 'flowing perfectly'. GET MO!

THE MONTHLY MOAN
Anna has a pop at Bush & Blair while revealing the secret way to spend a penny in the town's bogs without catching a dose of typhoid. READ MORE

KEYNSHAM WEB CAM 8
The Cane Shum webcam has been stolen, but it's still transmitting footage!! Where will it end up? VIEW IT

KEYNSHAM IS ACE!
We love Keynsham! If you need reminding, CLICK HERE