Issue 8 Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum A Different View Of Keynsham www.caneshum.co.uk June 2004
CONTACTING COULD 'DIS BE CANE SHUM

USE THE form below to send your comments, stories, letters, news, questions and abuse to
Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum. Alternatively, you can email us directly via editor@caneshum.co.uk.
Thanks for your continued emails, they always make our day folks!


YOUR NAME (A made-up one will do quite nicely...)


WHERE ARE YOU? (eg Keynsham, Stockholm, in a mess, on the job etc)


YOUR MESSAGE (eg Comments, questions, news, abuse, objections...)





POETRY CORNER

Yellow Telephone

In Cane-Shum town we have a shop perched high upon a hill
It sells no wares there are no tills
Its staff are all ‘old-bill’.

A bit run down and tatty now the shop’s a right old state
So Bob the builder and his mates
Are there, paid from our rates.

But when their job of work is done; the nick has been restored
Who will be there to take our calls?
What staff can we afford?

Sod all, in fact and none at night, I have a sneaking hunch
And none from twelve till one no doubt;
She slips out for her lunch.

Fear not we’re told, we’ve thought of that, our hearts aren’t made of stone,
Upon the wall we have installed
A yellow telephone!

So when you need a friendly face to save you from your dread
Go to the nick where you will find
A telephone instead!

And if you think you’ll get to hear a friendly voice, beware,
That bloody yellow telephone
It goes to God knows where.

You’ve got your nice new nick now, not the old one that was shit,
So do the decent thing for us
PUT SOMEBODY IN IT!

Eli McChurch



YOUR LETTERS
You won't be wasting your time by writing to us - the emails you send us form the basis of our LETTERS PAGE.

CITIZEN CANE
Having already taken Keynsham's leisure facilities to task, Eli McChurch turns his attention to Seasonally Affective Disorder. READ IT

MAILING LIST
Get yourself notified whenever we publish - join our no-spam, no-hassle MAILING LIST.

THE MONTHLY MOAN
Anna has a pop at Bush & Blair while revealing the secret way to spend a penny in the town's bogs without catching a dose of typhoid. READ MORE

THE BOTTOM LINE
BIG! The Bottom Line has just got bigger! This month, get the low down on the Keynsham Music Festival, dubbed 'Little Glastonbury'! READ MORE

KEYNSHAM WEB CAM 8
The Cane Shum webcam has been stolen, but it's still transmitting footage!! Where will it end up? VIEW IT

THE MILLER'S TALE
NEW! Albert Mills gets his own column, in which he's throwing his weight behind the plans for the old cinema, among other things. READ ALBERT

MERCHANDISE
Never mind the colour, feel the quality...
On sale now at 'Only Fools & Horses' - our exclusive Could 'Dis Be Cane Shum T-SHIRTS!

BLOKE ABOUT TOWN
NEW! Freshly-recruited from the mean streets of Keynsham, William Bloke offers up a serving of vitriol after getting a tattoo done in town. MORE